If you’ve landed on this page for some reason, I kindly ask that you take a moment to visit my new blog home instead:
UPDATE: March 7, 2013
I’m (not-so) patiently waiting for HostGator to get their act together and migrate this blog with my new domain and hosting. This free service was a big reason I went with HostGator, but so far it’s taken them longer then the 24-72 hours they advertise. Teach me for being cheap and lazy, I guess…
About a month ago, Michelle over at Making Sense of Cents wrote How To Start a Blog – Tips for Beginners because she gets emails daily asking for advice or help. (Although I’m not new to blogging or having my own domain, I’m guilty of being one of those people. And she was kind enough to respond – several times.)
Back when I was in university I was a pretty regular blogger on my own domain, although it was more of a public diary then anything. I did most of the html coding and graphic designing (if you can call it that) myself, which was very time consuming; I didn’t use wordpress or any of the amazing (and easy) features that came with my host. I sort of did it the hard way, but that’s the way I learned it. And that’s not something I wanted to do again. I was pretty content blogging away here for free.
Then a week ago, Kathleen over at Frugal Portland posted Blogging Tips for Beginners. I commented about my hesitation to take the plunge into domain-ownership again, due to my lack of having and wanting a niche, and struggling to find my voice.
5 days ago she replied:
So… I guess I’m doing this thing!!! And you know what? I’m super excited to get this thing going! I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until Michelle planted the seed, and (forgive my bad metaphor) Kathleen gave it water and sunshine.
If you follow me on Twitter, you may notice how clueless I am about how to best do this. Which host should I use? Should I create a separate Twitter account for my blog, or just change the name of the one I’ve got? Am I going to be able to merge the content from this blog onto the new one, or will I have to start from scratch? And what the hell is a self-hosted wordpress?!?! Ok, I’m not completely clueless about it all; nervous may be a better way to describe it. (But if you have the advice for any of the above, please share!)
As of right now, the only thing I’ve done is register the domain name. I’m, of course, working 13 hour days over the weekend and haven’t had the time to make any more informed decisions or progress, but I’m hoping to have it all figured out a.s.a.p. so I can get back to y’know, actually blogging.
A great big thank you going out to Michelle and Kathleen again, Liquid Independence and my friend Nick for responding to my desperate pleas for advice via Twitter, and my little sister for indirectly helping me pick my new site name (and NO thanks to my B.I.L, or older sister for your nonsense!!), and of course to YOU – the people responsible for the increasing numbers in my blog stats and for helping realize I can, and should, do this.
I purposely booked my wisdom teeth surgery for a Thursday before a long weekend so that I had 5 full days to recover, and only miss 2 days of work. But when Monday (Family Day for us Ontarians) rolled around, it was clear that I was in no shape to go back to work on Tuesday as planned – especially not for a 13 hour day (9am-5pm at my “regular” Education job, and then 6-10pm to Stage Manage the rehearsal) considering I hadn’t even been awake for a total of 13 hours combined in the 4 days prior! Had their not been rehearsal that night, my bosses wouldn’t even notice I wasn’t there, but of course, stage managing is always more important then my actual job or my physical (and mental) well-being…
I debated going in for the evening only, but my coworker who was also looking after me sensibly convinced me not to push it. So I called in sick, had major guilt about it, and had a restless night full of anxiety dreams.
I knew there was no one easily available to fill in for me for rehearsal. I knew that it would fall on “G”, another co-worker who’s had to pseudo-fill-in for me before. I knew she wasn’t going to be able to do it (she works 3 other jobs to support her currently disabled husband and 2 kids). And I knew my boss would yell at her for not being available (because he’s done it before, not 2 weeks ago).
What I didn’t know is that this would be the last straw for G. I didn’t know that she would march into our bosses office and hand-over her 2 weeks notice. One boss tried to get to her to reconsider, while the other threw a temper tantrum like the full-grown man-child he is.
I finally had the chance to talk to G this afternoon, and she reassured me that she doesn’t blame me for any of this, but I still feel guilty. If I’d sucked it up and went to work, the boss wouldn’t have been on a rampage, wouldn’t have taken it out on her, and she would still have this job.
Chances are that it was only a matter of time before he flipped out at her over something else and she would be out the door anyways, but playing the middle-man in this scenario sucks. Mostly because I wish I had the guts to walk out the door with her.
Perhaps it’s presumptuous for me to assume my job interview from last week is “dead”, but the more I think about it, the more I doubt they are going to offer me the position.
It could very well be that I’m just so run down and jaded from my current job situation (and 5+ days of bed-rest post-wisdom teeth) that I’m just being overly pessimistic. Or that I’m scared to make a big change so I’m making up or exaggerating possible red flags. But I have never left an interview more confused in my life.
Even after all my research and the interview itself, I still don’t think I comprehend what the job is. They didn’t really talk about the responsibilities in the interview, seemed a little annoyed when I asked about them at the end, and gave me a very generic answer. The same generic answers listed in the job posting itself.
I’ve gotten a lot better at interviews over the years, and would say that know what I’m doing –but this interview… they asked me so many questions that I wasn’t expecting or prepared for (probably because I don’t understand the position), they were all 3 part questions so I definitely rambled, and there were several times when I was asked a question to which I had already directly answered in an earlier question.
In addition to all that, I did not get a good vibe from the people interviewing me all – especially the woman that would be my supervisor and more-or-less only co-worker. It all started with her handshake – if you call lightly grabbing the ends of three fingers a handshake – and went downhill from there. According to one of my new favourite bloggers, Alison Green of Ask a Manager “People generally show you plenty during a hiring process about what they’d be like to work with [and]… about how they operate.” (Source) If this was my first impression, what’s it going to be like working there for a year?
Regardless, if they did offer me the job I would take it. I would be fricken stupid not to:
- The salary range is double what I’m making now between my 2 jobs.
- It gets me out of my current office.
- It’s a city job, which would make me eligible for all internal job postings in the future (which is in the top 5 major employers for the city).
- It’s in my field.
- The networking opportunities would be insane.
- It’s only a one year contract.
- It’s the only job I’ve applied to in the 6 weeks since I’ve been seriously looking because it’s the only one that I’m remotely interested in and qualified for.
Notice what’s missing from that list? Things like – it’s what I want to do, I’m excited about it, it’s my “dream job”, etc. Those things are pretty important, but I know aren’t the be-all, end-all. After all, my current job was/is(?) my “dream job” and that’s not really working out.
I guess it’s out of my hands for the time being. I did my best at the interview, and it’s up to them now whether or not they want a second interview, to offer me the position, or to pretend this whole thing never happened. At the very least, I’m happy to at least be putting myself out there again, doing something rather then just complaining.
Provided the scheduling feature on WordPress is working correctly, as you read this, I am on a Valentine’s Day trip that is costing me about $2000.
Ok that’s a lie because I’ll be reimbursed $1500.
And because I’m probably at home lying on my couch.
So what’s with all the lies and deception??!?!?
I’m on drugs.
Or at least I will be when this post goes live.
Why, you ask? Because Liz Lemon, that’s why.
Yes, I scheduled to have my wisdom teeth removed on Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend is currently on the other side of the planet, so I figured I’d be lying on my couch watching movies all alone anyways, I might as well be heavily sedated too.
The dentist guy told me that I’m going to need at least 5 days to recover as one tooth is growing into a nerve (FUN!). In Ontario, it’s a long weekend (Monday is Family Day), so I only had to burn 2 vacation days to get 5 days off. It’s pretty sad that I have to have minor surgery just to get more than Sunday off of work.
Also, I have health benefits at my current job, but as you know, I’m looking for a new job. Who knows if/when I’ll have benefits again, so I wanted to get these suckers out of my face while I’m still covered (and hope there’s not going to be issues if I end up resigning shortly thereafter).
So if I disappear from the Internet for a few days, there is no need to send help (unless it’s in the form of Ryan Gosling). More likely, though, if I post, comment, and/or Tweet things that just don’t make any sense, just pretend it does ok?
Yes boys and girls, after all the “should I?”, “could I?” back and forth of the last few months year, the multiple blog posts, the whining, the bitching, the endless complaining, I have finally made a decision:
I’M GOING TO QUIT MY JOB!
For those of you that know me in real life and/or follow me on Twitter, I know this isn’t new news, but it is new to the blog. And after the events of this past week (in which I started collecting my personal belongings and was seconds from walking out the door, only to be stopped by the fact I have to get my wisdom teeth yanked out of my face next month and can’t afford to pay for it without my health benefits), it’s clear that I’ve got to take this declaration seriously, so that I can walk out the door without any regret.
Now, I’m no dummy. As tempting as it is, I’m not going to march into my bosses office and politely hand over a letter of resignation and sheepishly give them the ol’ “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel (or if I’m being honest, tell them where they can shove this job). No, no. I’m giving myself time to hopefully find a new job before leaving this one. I say hopefully because this will be my last season working at the theater, even if I haven’t found something else by that point. I’m hoping it won’t come to that! If it does, I’ll likely look into temp work, as I know a lot of people that have landed FT jobs thru temping, including my mom. I’ll worry about Plan B if it comes to it – but I mentally and physically cannot (and will not) take another year of this.
I’ve already began applying, but I haven’t really put much effort into it yet, trying to hold out for that one perfect job posting. The job market really does suck though, and each day it’s become more and more apparent that holding out isn’t going to get me anywhere.
Most of the postings that do interest me either pay the same or less than what I’m making now, or are contract positions. Initially, I wrote them off, but I’m now rethinking that. I’ve been overlooking the other benefits these jobs likely have – health insurance, room for promotions/raises, a regular schedule, and most importantly, getting me out of the toxic work environment I’m currently in.
My resume and cover letter really need an overhaul. Neither have been updated in nearly 4 years, and don’t include the
two three jobs I have been working during that time. Chances are I’m going to have to enter a new field, and I’m ok with that, but that’s been a factor in my procrastination. There is a growing list of fields that interest me and many of them are similar to what I do now, but the resume will require some tweaking to better sell myself and land me some interviews in those areas. It’s such a daunting task and I’ve been putting it off because by the end of the day, I’m so overwhelmed and stressed that I just want to lay on my couch and drink Bailey’s. No more excuses, Amanda!
I’m going to quit my job. There is a ton of anxiety behind those six little words, but there is it. And now it’s out there for you all to help keep me accountable, and hopefully to support me in this decision.